Preparation and Schedule: Day 2 of the Beginner’s Beginner’s Beginner’s Guide to training for a marathon says I am supposed to walk 30 minutes. Sounds easy enough. I won’t lie though, my legs are embarrassingly sore from yesterday’s 30 minute run. I am hoping this is normal? I am hoping that this walk is supposed to stretch out and help my muscles recover. I’m also hoping that my endurance adjusts quickly, because if I’m in this much pain after Day 1, I really think this marathon may actually kill me. Here’s to hoping!
The Run: Since it was raining and in the 40s this afternoon (thank you again, Chicago!), I decided to walk the 30 minutes on the treadmill in our building’s “gym,” aka a 10×10 ft room equipped with two treadmills, a bike, and a sorry set of dumbbells. Good thing I’m not training for a heavy weight championship! I had all I needed, and the best part? Totally empty.
I started the walk at 5:00pm, but then received a text that said my out of town friend needed to bump up our dinner date from 6:00 to 5:30! There was no way I was going to walk my full thirty and meet them in time. I got off the treadmill at 5:16 and hustled to change and call an uber. I’m thankful it was a walking day or that 15 minutes would have required a shower!
I went to dinner, Flat Top Grill if you must know, and it was delicious and healthy. Upon taking your seat, you are handed a bowl and are told to choose your protein. My husband chose chicken and sausage, which was tempting to say the least, but I chose to take the healthy route and stick to just chicken. After you’ve placed your meat order, you proceed to a buffet of raw vegetables, noodles, and steamed rice. You choose the colors you want to eat (I always try to make the rainbow, blue is the hardest one to achieve…next time I’ll consider sneaking in some blueberries for dessert…or if you know of a blue vegetable, please do not hesitate to inform me!). Anyway, dinner was a huge success, we all left feeling full, healthy, and caught up on our long-distance lives.
Back to home, fully intending to walk the other 15 minutes. I promise you I did end up walking them, but it took some serious will power! At about 8:00pm I was back on the treadmill staring at my blank-faced reflection in the dusty mirror. As my playlist kicked in to the good stuff, (this time I chose my Worship playlist because it reminds me to be thankful and focus on other things), I started feeling that small ache in my legs that sort of feels good. You know, the pain that you kind of enjoy? I was feeling the sweat starting to glisten, the heart rate rising, and the ache of sore legs getting fresh blood.
15 minutes later, I press the stop button on the screen, or at least I think I do. As I close out my last few steps on the slowing belt, I decide to shut my eyes and imagine myself crossing the finish line on Marathon Day. I see October 13, me jogging at my slowest possible pace, legs aching but feeling incredibly accomplished. I stretch out my arms in triumph, then, I feel my foot hit a bump on the treadmill, vision over! Instantly I open my eyes and am forced to jump off the side of the track at the last possible second landing on my right foot as my left flops clumsily behind it. If it weren’t for that slight bump and a quick reaction, I would’ve been crashing face first into the still spinning track. Oh my, God! I never hit the stop button! Too close for comfort, feeling so stupid, and so happy no one is around to see, I start laughing out loud. I take it as a sign that I should be thankful I didn’t hurt myself. Even when we’re not paying attention, God is looking out for us. Thank You, Jesus!
I also take it as a sign that I’m not supposed to stop yet. The belt is still running, my time still ticking. At this point I’ve done two 15 minute walks, but the training says one 30 minute walk… I convince myself to just go to 20 minutes, that should suffice. 20 rolls by, okay okay, 25. Ah, what the heck, I’m doing 30! Yes, it was just walking, at 4.4 miles an hour to be exact, but it was challenging! I was sweating, I wanted to stop. But at the same time I felt like I couldn’t, like I had to prove to myself that I could do this 30 minutes and be honest with myself, my goal, and be intentional about it. And I’m so glad that I did! After that full 30 minutes, I made sure I definitely hit the stop button this time, and felt proud of myself. I came back upstairs to the comfort of home, (although it’s not much bigger than the gym, at least it’s clean!) and stretched a full and well-earned stretch.
Reflection: Today I learned to be honest with myself. Stop trying to cheat and get by with the minimum. Stop trying to make excuses and find loop holes to stop you from doing what you know you need to do. I did the 15 minutes earlier, I could’ve stopped at 15 more. I could’ve convinced myself that I had accomplished what I set out to do, but I would’ve known that I had skirted the true finish line. I do this a lot in my life actually, this was the physical manifestation of many other tasks and goals in my life. I cheat myself out of a true challenge because I think I can find a reason to not commit fully to it. It only hurts me in the end. I’m thankful I saw the flip side of it tonight. When I thought I had pressed the stop button, only to be jarringly notified that I did not, in fact, touch it, I would’ve stopped myself short of what I could accomplish. And I wouldn’t have the proud feeling of pushing myself like I do now.
So I encourage you as well, reflect on what you might cheat yourself out of. Maybe it’s because you convince yourself that you’ve met the finish line, but in reality you only shortened the finish line to fit your comfortable distance. Maybe it’s because you don’t believe that you can have the full experience, because maybe you don’t deserve it, or maybe you think it’s not possible for you. Challenge that. Maybe it will take you nearly falling off a treadmill, or some other jolt of awareness, but maybe it’s just taking a moment right now to think about a goal you have that you’d like to push yourself toward, and not accept anything less than your true potential.
Marathon, May I? 